As Mother’s Day fast approaches I am reminded daily that I am not a Mother. I have never been a Mother. I have never been blessed with having children of my own. It wasn’t that I don’t like kids, or that I didn’t want kids. It just wasn’t in the cards.
I have, however, a bounty of children in my life. I have been very fortunate that my sisters have been more than willing to share their children with me. Yes, I am Auntie M to most and I love them all dearly. Over the years I have spent a great deal of time with my siblings children and have been quite fortunate to have some wonderful relationships with them. The girls are fun and we get to do girl stuff together. The boys can be awkward but I thrive when we find a common ground and build a trusting relationship. I have been there for them all whether it was to celebrate something good, cry about something bad, vent about their parents, query about the opposite sex or bail them out of jail. I have changed diapers, shopped for prom dresses, cleaned up throw up – all the joys only a mother should know.
One of the most amazing experiences of my life came from my husband’s youngest and her husband. They allowed me to be a part of the birth of their children, something I could never have experienced on my own. Yes, I helped to deliver their son and then a couple of years later their daughter. In fact, the second time they asked me to cut the cord! You can’t imagine the torture that young girl has endured ever since,what with me bragging about her having the most amazing belly button in the world. (Seriously, I sent pictures of her belly button to people instead of baby pictures).
Watching all the children in my life grow over the years has given me great joy, and yes also some heartache. I could not be more proud or love them more if I was their Mother. One is now overseas, serving in Afghanistan, not for the first time. Another followed me into the television industry and another is studying harder than anyone I know to become a teacher. I could carry on with the list, they are all amazing, but there are a lot of them.
I hope they will all do me proud and remember to thank their Mother’s on Mother’s Day, and tell them how much they love them and how grateful they are that they are their Mother. I know I thank them for being Mothers and am ever grateful for them allowing me to be a part of their children’s lives.
We have a new first time Mom this Mother’s Day in my family. My youngest niece, who also happens to be my Goddaughter, gave birth on March 31st, to the most beautiful little girl. Ellee Rose will be loved and shared and cherished by all the Mom’s in the family and by her Auntie M.
Michelle,
Bless you for your big heart. I wear the same shoes, never had children either. Aunts are so important. You are blessed. It is wonderful to read about your intact family, and its strong bonds. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you Beatrice. We will have to share “Auntie” war stories some.
Once again, Michelle, you have reduced me to tears! Such an illustration of love and bonding ~ how lucky for all who participate in your life. Which makes me feel grateful that I know you as well. The term ‘woman of substance’ comes to mind … but somehow that is not enough!!
We all know that being a Mother is more than a biological description as in giving birth ~ it is more the caring, nurturing, loving manner in which we treat those around us. That being said, you are a Mother.
So Happy Mother’s Day, Michelle. XX
You are too kind Linda. We are going to have to figure out a way for me to make you laugh more than cry.
I know you have a brand new baby in your family as well, so Mother’s Day should be extra special for you this year. Enjoy it! Wallow in it! Celebrate!
Talk soon,
M
Hi Michelle: I hope you remember me. We sure do remember you being so nice and friendly and just a beautiful person.
Do you remember my kids Peter and Lisa? They always
remember the good times we had each Saturday with you.
How is your dad and his doggie doing? We have a little
dog too now. You look like a totally different person on your web site, but same lovely smile. If you have time I would
love to hear from you. We always speak of you with the
family. Take care.
Mary, Of course I remember you…and Mike…and Audrey and your two beautiful children. From what I have seen on Facebook they are quite grownup now. I thought of Peter & Lisa when I wrote this and all the other kids in my life that weren’t related to me. Most of my friends also shared their kids with me as well. There were times when I would have somebody’s kids at my place at the beach for a weekend and then decide they needed some company other than me. I would put out a couple of phone calls and before you knew it I would have a dozen or more kids sleeping on my floor. It was always a blast and I hope fond memories for them as well.
Dad is still hanging in there, he is 88 now and just recently adjusted his goal age from 90 to 109. My money is on him making it. Unfortunately, little Angel is no longer with him. She wasn’t made of the sturdy stock he is. That was very hard on him and he still misses her.
As far as looking totally different…don’t you remember how many times I re-invented myself while we were in touch. You always said you never knew what to expect. Especially with my hair colour(s)!
My love to all of you, and hopefully we will see you again soon,
M
Michelle: Maybe “momma’ing” wasn’t in the cards for you, but being an exceptional friend, sister, aunt and wife was. Everyone who is in your life is blessed to know you, not least of all myself.
I know this blog wasn’t meant to be taken as a list of compensations for your not having children. But it inspires people to reach beyond their immediate family to touch lives outside, and hopefully to be as generous with their friendship as they are with their parenting. For that alone, you are a fabulous role model.
Love you!!
Right back at you, Lauren – who just happens to be one of the most amazing Mom’s I know. Of course the apple didn’t fall far from the tree as your Mom (Yvonne) set the standard pretty high by being a phenominal “Mom” to all of us. Thank you for sharing her with us.
Love you,
M
Michelle,
This is a beautiful reminder of what a privilege it is to be a mother. Thank you for sharing. Lucy
Hi Michelle, so beautifully written and honest. I am a mother and very proud of my daughter as well. Honestly you have been an amazing mother like figure and friend to everyone that needed you so Happy Mother’s Day to you, lov Line
Thank you so much Line. That means a lot coming you. You know how much I admire you and that I want to be just like you when I grow up (if that ever happens).
Love,
M
By the way, let’s get to work on that blog of yours!
Hey there,
Me too!! I am an Auntie (in absentia for now) however, I really agree – we have an excellent role to play.
Thanks for sharing!
Colleen
Congratulations (in absentia)! I bet you can’t wait to see that little one. How are things going Down Under? I haven’t been able to get on your blog. Still having problems?
Michelle,
It takes a community to raise a child. I truly believe that. And these children are so very blessed to have someone as generous and kind as you in their close community.
Thanx for sharing.. as always.
Michelle,
Mothers come in many forms. Some wear pants (as in single parent families), some are related by birth and some are related by friendship. All of them are related by love. I kind of think that you fit the bill. So happy mother’s day kiddo.
Donald
Donald,
Thank you for your kind words. Everyone has said such wonderful things I may not get my big old head through the door at our next meeting. If you see me stuck you will know what the problem is so give me a push.
Talk soon,
M
Indeed. Aunties are so very important.
It takes a family to raise a child and they are
blessed to have Auntie Michelle.
Thank you David. You are very sweet to say that. This is me blushing.
Talk soon,
M
I love that picture of you and Ellee!!! You forgot to mention in the blog that it was your favorite niece…its ok i forgive you!!
love ya
Ash =0)
hi there michelle
Good comment on the day that we honour Mom! I wish I had my mom still around so i could thank her for all the little things she did day by day. But sadly, i was too busy as a teenager living the good life and not appreciating her caring love. She passed when I was seventeen.
Oh to go back and give her a big hug.
I see you did get involved in the mommy role to some extent and just remember that Paul needs a gal like you and a soother. You are his gal and also his mom so never believe you are not part and parcel of mother’s day.
cheers bud
I may have said it before, but you have a beautiful soul, Michelle.
That is a very sweet thing to say. I had to go back and read this again to remember what I wrote. Little Ellee is three now. It doesn’t seem possible.
Reblogged this on Silkpurseproductions's Blog and commented:
This is not my favourite time of year. It is a difficult day for me and for some reason this year it seems amplified. No particular reason except maybe I am entering that “sentimental old fool” phase of my life. One of my more recent blogging buddies, The Hook, (I suggest visiting him but not while drinking anything that can come out your nose when you laugh) has been wandering through some of my older posts. This is his subtle way of letting me know I need to write more. When he comments I have to go back and read them myself to respond. This particular post reminds of how blessed I am with all the children in my life. Since its writing a lot has changed. Little Ellee is now three and one year old Logan is the new baby. Cyndi (the belly button girl) is now dancing and drawing cartoons of me that resemble an old granny. I have also had the honour of getting to know a very special young lady named Jane. She is 10 and has taught me a lot in the past few months. She has a very special place in my heart and I am grateful she has let me love her. Thank you, Hook, for reminding me exactly how blessed I am.