Few things invoke memories to the level that music can. The first couple of notes or bars can transport me back to happier times, sometimes sadder times, or just to a memory I don’t want to lose. This particular song will always bring me straight back to my Mom.
I suspect it is a familiar song to most and probably from your childhood. In my case I have surpassed the required number of years to be officially a “Senior” and my Mom passed more than 50 years ago. There are times when I find it difficult to remember things and I have siblings who will always tell me I have it wrong. I was young and I remember her with a little kid’s heart. I see her with a little kid’s eyes. I grasp at those memories and hang on as tight as I can for fear of losing them forever. I remember she was beautiful, I remember she had the voice of an angel and a laugh that could make you cry. She was adventurous at a time when a single mom with four kids was not sociably acceptable. She worked hard to give us everything she could. She was strong and battled cancer at a time when the only course of action was barbaric. She hung on as long as possible to try to make sure we would be ok. She could hug the hurt out of anyone. I remember the last time I saw my Mom was for my birthday in the hospital stairwell. In those days kids weren’t allowed inside. The nurses dressed her and wheeled her right to the door of the stairwell. They helped her stand and she insisted on pushing the door open and greeting me under her own steam. She hugged me, told me she loved me and gave me a birthday present. And then she was taken away. A little over a week later she was gone.
When I hear this song she is right there beside me singing it. I remember the hugs, the joy, and the love she gave me. I will always remember the love.
This is my lifelong friend Harry. I will love him him forever.
I don’t ever remember calling him by that name. We have called each other “Cutes” for so long that I don’t remember when we started or why. Of course we were both pretty adorable back in the day.
My Cutes and I
Cutes & I back in the day
I am happy to say that my Cutes has as his partner in life one of the most amazing women I have ever met in my life. Her name is Linda. Of course I seldom call her that. I affectionately call her “Mrs. Cutes”. I love this woman!
Mr. & Mrs. Cutes
These are two of the strongest people I know and they fight for every moment they have together. They always have a smile, a thoughtful word and a hug. Their sense of humour (and irony) is unblemished. In fact, just between you and I, it is Cutes (Harry) that nicknames everyone. If you are blessed to know him then you have a nickname he has given you. Wheels, Warner, Zeek were all Christened with a laugh and a twinkle in his eye. I don’t know how he keeps track of who is who but he does.
My Cutes has MS. It has been a struggle of proportions I could not do justice to here. I read the material he sends me and we talk about it. Sometimes I understand. Sometimes I do not. Recently, we found out that he was to receive a long awaited procedure that may help him. One he has fought for. One that is not available here in Canada. Again, that is another whole blog. What I want to share with you is the note that Mrs. Cutes sent out yesterday. It is a simple request, one that I hope you will help with…
Hello Everyone: I am sure that by now most of you know that Harry’s mom passed away on March 31st. She was cremated and on Tuesday, May 1st, which would’ve been her 95th birthday, they are having a burial at Lundy’s Lane cemetery at 2:00. She didn’t want a funeral. It will be a celebration of her life. Lorna lived a very long life. The other reason that I wrote is to ask every one of you to think of Harry this Friday at 11:00 and really pray hard for him. After a long wait, he is getting his veins done. Not sure if you all have heard of CCSVI where people with MS have collapsed veins? Anyways, Harry got his veins checked in Barrie and they are blocked which really is a good thing. On Thursday, we are off to Albany – where he is having the procedure done. It is not a difficult procedure. He will be awake the whole time and will know what is going on. He wants me to be in there with him but I am not sure if I can but I will try. We know a few people who have had it done in India and California and Mexico which is very expensive and most have had really good results. One lady that we met in Barrie is walking after 37 years in a wheelchair. I am hoping for a miracle for Harry and through prayer anything is possible. He has gone through a lot, poor guy, but really feels positive about this. He can hardly wait to get it done. Some get a little better and some get a lot better. It depends on the individual, Harry can get a little better or a lot better – at least he can’t get a little worse. No matter what, this will be a good thing for him. Some friends are feeling a little bit better and notice an improvement almost every single day. It may take a while for him – who knows. He’s just hoping for a chance that’s all. On Friday, April 27th, he goes in at 10:00 and has it done at 11:00. From start to finish it will take about 4 hours. Then we go back to the hotel and on Saturday morning we go back to the hospital and he gets his dopplers checked and then we go home. It’s something that takes so little time and yet he had to wait so long for this day to come. When he gets home, he has physio every day. We have a great guy named Dino who comes in and he’s strong and will continue to work with Harry and stretch him and he said that he will be working him hard. Yippee!!!!! If you want to know more about this procedure, you can ask Harry about it. He knows how to explain everything really well which could help you understand what this CCSVI is all about. I am not good at it. You can even look it up on the internet. Anyways, thank you so very much for praying for him and I will talk to you soon. Linda xo
Prayer. It is a simple request. If you believe in the power of prayer I hope you will say one. If you don’t, I hope you will say one anyway for this amazing couple.
I thank you.
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Note: Cutes (Aka: Harry) sent me this link this morning. If you are interested in the procedure or the struggle for people to have it this may explain it better. Australia has the same issues Canada does.
At Christmas Allison Sumpter wrote “All I Want For Christmas Is…My Mother”. In it she speaks from the heart of how after more than 23 years she still longs for her mother and of her journey learning to live with her absence.
This beautifully written post struck a chord with me. I lost my Mother over 40 years ago and I am still on that journey as well. More recently a writer I admire, Sean Platt sent me a post by his wife Cindy titled “That’s My Mom”. Cindy also lost her Mother over 40 years ago, when she was just three. She shares with us her journey of growing up “a motherless daughter”, along with some vivid memories of her Mother that paint such a clear picture of her that I feel I knew her… surely we met before she passed.
Both these women wrote beautiful, inspiring stories of their mothers. Both these women made me weep. I weep for the memories I don’t have. I was 12 when my Mother passed, yet I could not give you the detailed description of her that 3 year old Cindy Platt held on to of her Mother. It isn’t that I have no memories of my Mother. I do. However, I don’t know how many of them are real anymore. I seldom speak of my Mother anymore. Especially, with my sisters.
My Mom had four daughters, two older than me and one younger. My three sisters were all born in the fall. I was born in the spring. In fact I was the only one of us who celebrated a birthday in 1969, before my Mother passed. She died just days after my birthday. My memories of my Mother all come from the heart of a 12 year old girl who last saw her Mother alive in the stairwell of the hospital – I was not old enough to visit her in her room. A kind nurse helped Mom from her sickbed and into the stairwel l so she could give me my birthday present.
My older sisters were not yet 20 and 18, while my youngest sister would not turn 9 until that September. Each of us have many memories, none of them the same. Over the years, as I would recall something, one of my sisters would invariably say that it was wrong and then set the record straight with their version of the incident. Arguments would ensue and eventually, I just stopped sharing the memories. I honestly don’t think any one of us was right or wrong. I believe that to each of us our version was indeed the way it was, but I know inside the truth was somewhere in the middle. Unfortunately, the less I spoke of my Mother, the more faded the memories became. There was a time I could describe to you how she felt, what scent she smelled of and the colour of her hair when the sun shone on it.
I find myself now digging for those memories. Now when one surfaces I will fight to keep it. Memory is a fickle thing at the best of times, however as we get older it can be quite elusive. My strongest memory, the one that will never fade is that I was loved, cherished and valued. I don’t really care if my version is right or wrong now. I will cherish every glimpse I get of the woman who gave birth to me and loved me unconditionally. Thank you, Allison & Cindy, for reminding me of that.
This blog is dedicated to my life as a photographer. I am a Denturist by trade, and a hobbyist photographer. I will be travelling to Nunavut to combine these aspects of my life. In 2015 I will document my travel experiences and the making of dentures for our Inuit communities.
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