Today I am looking for Herb. He is one of my best friends and he is missing.
Has anyone seen him?
Perhaps I should tell you a little about Herb, so you will understand why I am so distraught that he is nowhere to be found!
Let me introduce you to my friend Herb.
I first met Herb in Toronto, many years ago, he was a city boy through and through and shared a home with my very close friend Jocko. I didn’t really get to know Herb that well until Jocko decided to pull up stakes and move to BC leaving Herb behind on his own. Well, Herb doesn’t really do well on his own so I let Jocko convince me to let Herb come and live with me. It was a little awkward at first, but once we got to know each other better we became fast friends and pretty much inseparable. Everybody loved Herb, he became a part of my family. Well, OK, not everyone loved Herb. My Mother use to freak out on him all the time. When Herb and I had our portrait taken together,
and I included it in our Christmas card that year my Mother let her true feelings known and we didn’t spend much time alone with her after that.
The rest of my family loved Herb, almost as much as I did. When Herb escorted me to my sister’s 2nd wedding, she and her new husband included him in the wedding photos.
I lived at Bay Beach when Herb moved in with me and it wasn’t long before he got into the “beach” way of life. He took to it like, well, a fish in water, and his suit soon became a thing of the past.
March of 1992, we found out I was ill. Herb took it pretty hard, but he stuck by me and was always there when I was throwing up or losing my hair, or couldn’t sleep. I noticed that by that summer Herb had started to drink a little heavier than usual.
We got through it though and it made our bond stronger. There was a lot of celebrating to do and we were on everyone’s party list. It seemed we were at a party every night.
I was never invited anywhere without Herb, but at some point Herb started to get more invites than me. I ended up being his chauffer, dropping him off and then picking him up later, usually with someone carrying him to the car.
Now this isn’t the first time Herb has gone missing. Once I found him riding a carousel at Port Dalhousie. Another time, I was beside myself trying to find Herb. All our friends and family looked for him for days. We finally found him in Niagara Falls, New York. He had crossed the border into the US (without his passport), to visit his cousin Izzy. Izzy owned a Mexican restaurant there with another friend of mine Sergio.
Izzy was not a good influence on Herb and got him into trouble more than once. Let me tell you, it was not easy getting him back into the country!
After that, I decided it was time for a change. We needed to straighten up a little, so we moved back into town and away from the beach partying life. In all fairness, Herb 11 adapted well, and we started leading a much quieter life.
When I met Paul, he took to Herb like they were long lost brothers. We were a happy close knit family. We still celebrated just a little differently than we use to.
A few years back we moved to Oakville. Herb was pretty set in his ways and he wasn’t looking forward to being uprooted.
It took us a long time to get sorted out here, in fact truth be told we still haven’t unpacked all our boxes. But somehow, during the move Herb went missing. We have looked everywhere for him. We went back to the old house in Niagara, we’ve checked with all our friends and family. I’ve searched all of Herb’s favourite hiding places and old haunts. He is nowhere to be found.
Please if anyone out there has seen Herb please send him home. We miss him terribly!